8/18/2003 - Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

When was the last time you've had pure, unbridled fun at the movies? Be honest. What? In 2000? When in a desperate and courageous attempt to escape the soulless Hollywood celluloid machinery, you caught a little film called Best in Show down at the local independent movie house?

Well, then you haven't seen this summer's most entertaining movie. Pirates of the Caribbean is everything a movie should be: dazzling visuals (but not in the overbearing, overused style of, say, the awful League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ...), an entertaining and never illogical storyline, delightful performances from the entire cast, whacky humor, and so much action and adventure, that about 15 minutes into the movie, you regret having bought that large-sized coke - realizing that sneaking off to the bathroom just isn't an option.

Most outstanding are three elements - the movie's quick pace (truly never a dull moment), the witty and imaginative dialogue, and Johnny Depp's magnetic performance. From the moment you see him standing on the top of his boat's mast, squinting at the horizon, you sense there's something not quite right - or shall we say "sane" - about this pirate. Maybe it's the liberally applied black eyeshadow, who would have made anybody but Johnny look like a drag queen. Maybe it's the goatee, divided into not one, but two small braids. Maybe it's the random gold teeth, flashing in the sunlight. Or maybe it's simply the blatant glint of nuttiness in Johnny's eyes.

Any other actor might have taken the role of Captain Jack Sparrow and, given the pressures of starring in a big-budget Jerry Bruckheimer movie, played it straight and safe. But not Johnny. As soon as you hear him speak in that drunken slur, see his squinty eyes darting around, and watch him wiggle his fingers in the most curious way, you realize that there's a true acting genius at work here. (He seemed also to be channeling Hunter S. Thompson's character he played in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.) And a man with a whole lot of fearlessness.

Granted, the dialogue he's supplied with in 'Pirates' is unusually refreshing and clever (Jack to Will: "This girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?" Will: "I'd die for her." Jack: "Oh, good. No worries, then."). But Johnny takes it to a different level - by giving the character slyness without being sleazy or mean, clumsiness without being dopey, and charm without sincerity. Jack Sparrow is flawed - and yet we can't help but love him.

Galantly supporting his efforts is the rest of the cast, who in their own right are doing a very effective job: Geoffrey Rush is great as usual (see Shine and Quills) as Captain Barbossa, Sparrow's mutinous first mate; a tantalizingly handsome Orlando Bloom (the elf Legolas from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, now freed from the long blond wig and green contact lenses) shines as the love-struck pirate-in-training Will Turner; and Keira Knightley (Bend it like Beckham) does the best she can with her damsel-in-corset-distress role of the governor's daughter Elizabeth. Credit should also be given to the two underlings of Captain Barbossa, Ragetti and Pintel, who as the pirate version of the odd couple, provide a lot of the comic relief in the movie - mostly involving a wooden eyeball, a pirate honor code called "Parley", and a couple of women's dresses.

Performances aside though, the movie thrives also on the visuals: a stunning Caribbean setting, the grandeur of ships under full sail on the open ocean (not seen since 1492 and Mel Gibson's The Bounty), and awe-inspiring special effects from ILM that turn the cursed pirates into skeletons in the moonlight.

The true fun comes in though by way of the fast-paced storyline, which successfully hides the central mystery and keeps you guessing until well into the last third of the movie; rare creative dialogue; and loads of carousing (virtually blood-less) sword-play, explosions, and the like. You would have never known this movie was based on a cheesy Disneyland thrillride, wouldn't it have been for Disney furiously beating the drum on this particular subject...

All in all - much credit goes to director Gore Verbinski (who we are all indebted to for the Budweiser frogs, the hilarious Mexican and the haunting Ring) for pulling up a classy movie by the bootstraps. It's a must see - whether now on the big screen, or later on DVD. Rumors of a sequel are flying all over the Net, so you better get this one under your belt while you can.

(And for anyone feeling the need to READ the movie after seeing it, somebody has actually gone through the monumental task of transcribing and posting the script.)